The Grey Staff Soirée

(c) 2014 Edward C Lunnon
8 years 2 months ill …

Physical: Deuce / Mental: Advantage Ed

Grey!

In 1988, my last year of teaching at Grey High, colleagues Dee Hollelly and Neil Thomson initiated the Grey Staff Soiree. It showcased the unbelievable talent that we had on our staff – from music to acting to slapstick – and raised funds to enable a deserving Grey boy to attend a university.

The first Soiree was planned to run in the De Waal Hall for the parents from the Wednesday to the Saturday evening. Besides the show, there was a dinner served and, of course, a cash bar.

Included in the donations, was a generous number of beer kegs by SA Breweries, intended to last for the duration of the four shows, but ran dry on the first night!

The first MC was deputy head Brian Hibbert and the actors were all of us barely twenty year old teachers of The Grey. At the interval, Hibbert MC was challenged by Stapleton AC (threatening at that stage to run naked onto the stage!) to stand down from his position as MC! It was nothing personal but was only “for the sHake of the Show”!

Well, the show continued and ended with the Six Degrees, a band of staff members that continued playing for the parent dancers, and with Tommo’s help, into the wee hours of the morning.

The Wednesday show was so successful and “tiring” that the actors were unable to take to the stage on the Thursday evening. A rapid deployment of the parent audience booked for the Thursday evening was made, and the show continued on Friday and Saturday.

In fact, the show has continued for 26 years (with breaks in between) and now,traditionally, only on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, but never on a Thursday!

So, this past Saturday evening, saw us attend the 2014 Grey Staff Soiree.

From the original Six Degrees remains Neil Thomson (then drums, now guitar and vocals) and Ed Lunnon (then keyboard, now retired). Mike Thomson has moved on to Michaelhouse, Tony Reeler is headmaster of Pretoria Boys High and Greg Cunningham is now deputy head in Sydney Australia.

My roles in the Soiree, in addition to keyboards, have been actor (Fawlty Towers and many other skits) and, two years ago, MC.

This year, for the very first time, I was able to watch the show in its entirety as a member of the audience. I was convinced that the youngsters would not be able to fit into our shoes! They surely would not be as good as we were back in the day!

I was proved wrong.

Now, with Greg Thomson (Tommo Jnr) and Bigsy (Jason Bigara – one of Sean’s contemporaries and now a teacher) as joint MC’s and a host of enthusiastic new young teachers doing the acting (some repeats and a few old faces, I may add!), the show continued into the late evening, and we danced the night away!

Yes, “for the shake of the show” and the benefit of the bursary fund, long may yet another of The Grey traditions continue.

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Grey Staff Soiree (2)

I have had numerous queries to share the jokes I told at the Grey Soirée. Here goes:

Braai rules

1.   The woman buys the food

2.   The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

3.   The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the fire – beer in hand.

4.  The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

5.   The man places the meat on the grid.

6.   The woman goes inside to organise the plates and the cutlery.

7.   The woman comes outside to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her.

Important again:

8.   The man takes the meat off the grid and hands it to the woman.

More routine …

9.   The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

10.  After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

11. Everyone praises the Man and Thanks Him for his cooking efforts.

12. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

Difficult to say when drunk

Innovative, Preliminary, Proliferation, Cinnamon, No thanks I’m married

Wine

If we drink 1 litre of water every day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed 1 kilo of EColi bacteria found in faeces.

However, we do not run that risk whe drinking wine and beer because alcohol has to go through a purification process.

Remember then that Water = Poop and Wine = Health

Therefore its better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap.

And

Wine does not make you fat. It makes you lean … against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

Liewe Lena

Ek het ‘n man wat ek nie kan vertrou nie. Hy verneuk my so baie, ek weet nie eers of die kind wat ek verwag syne is nie!

Things you can only get away with saying at Christmas:

I prefer breasts to legs

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist

Smother the butter all over the breasts

If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst

I’ve never seen a better spread

Are you ready for seconds yet?

It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

just wait your turn, you’ll get some

Dont play with your meat!

Why is Santa’s sack so big? He only comes once a year.

I wonder why they don’t play golf at the Paralympics. They all have handicaps.

Are there specified parking places for the non-disabled at the Paralympics?